Hallo, good morning!
Now it is 11.34 AM in Germany. Still morning, huh?
It's quite a long time I didn't write my blog anymore and it's so hard to write with Macbook!
Oh Gott. Especially when it's Macbook with a German keyboard. (Please do not misunderstand me. It's not mine. Just borrow it from a friend, lol)
Okay, what am I gonna tell you this time? Hm hm hm. Let me think about it. I am so happy today. Have actually lots to tell. But I have to think first how I should start my story. The opening should always be started with a good sentence right?
So, everybody knows that today is Pentecost. For they who do not know about it, it is the seventh Sunday after Easter, the Christian will commemorate the Holy Spirit upon disciples. So I went today to a church in Höhr-Grenzhausen, a small city of Westerwald. Somehow I wanted to look for a new atmosphare and I just landed here by a friend of mine. At 10 o'clock started the Mass. I was there 1 minute before the Mass held on and I just read that it is an evangelical church. I actually have no problem to visit the other church. I was also for many times in an evangelical church before. But the Protestant and the Catholic have a little bit different way on doing their Mass. The Catholic (in my opinion) is more quiet and the songs are a little bit boring, even I love to attend the Mass with those boring songs in Indonesien. On the contrary with the Catholic, the Protestant is more cheerful and the songs for me are more alive. That's why sometimes I like to attend the evangelical church because I also feel alive when I sing with them. And for me, going to church is not only a duty or just because I am a Catholic, then I should always go to church. No. For me, going to church is more like how I give a little bit time for my heavenly Father. After a long busy week, I give 1 hour for Him, to praise Him, to feel Him getting closer to me, and to tell Him all of my ups-and-downs. It is about the relationship between me and my Father, not the duty between daughter and Father. At least, that's all I can say.
So, based on my principle that going to church means the relationship between me and Him, it's also important if I go to church and when I come back, I don't feel empty like "Oh God, what was I doing? I didn't even understand what the priest said." And here is the problem. I could not say that I "get" something when I attended the catholic church in Germany. Maybe because I don't understand the language that is used on the songs and also the priest worships with a (for me) difficult level of German language. I don't know if it is only me who feels that way or.. I have no clue. But it is also the reason why in Germany I don't like to attend the church. (At least, I go when I will) Because at the end I feel always empty. Because I don't understand. And I hate it. What's the meaning of it?
But today, I have a new experience that opened my mind. Like I said before, I don't have a problem to attend the evangelical or catholic church. For me, we all have one God and you have a right to attend something that brings you peace. So I just attended the Mass in this evangelical church. And here that I find so interesting. It is not only the evangelical Mass, but also the catholic. They celebrate together, try to know each other without look who you are and what religion you have. We were praying together, listening to the woman who explained the Pentecost, singing together. I really like it. The story from the Bible that the woman told was also in an easy German. They made it somehow uncomplicated in a purpose that the children understand it very well. And for the foreigner like me, it's a very easy way to understand what they actually want to say to us through this story. I also met a man who sat beside me. We got to know each other, and he asked where I am from. We chatted al little bit then he asked me "Is there in Indonesien also this kind of Mass, where the Protestant and the Catholic celebrate the Mass together?" I just smiled and was thinking, then I answered, "I don't think so."
At the end, what I will say is:
It is very nice to praise God together that way. You don't need to be shame because you don't have the same religion with them. We just pray together, sing together, give our time for God together, and give peace to the others together. At the end you can realize that God is one and why should we make Him 3 or 5 in the name of religion?
And like it's written in Matthew 18:20
"For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."
Love,
Adisti
Monday, May 20, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Autobiographie - Homework (A short story about my childhood : The worst thing in my life - My Name)
I don't need to say "Hi, good evening everyone!" rite? It's only a few minutes after I posted the last entry.
Okay, now I just finished my homework for tomorrow.
Oh what I hate from myself nowadays (no, it's been a long time since it became my behaviour) is not my name anymore, but this "one night before deadline" behaviour. I couldn't help it. Seriously. I have a big problem dealing with it. No matter how many days the lecturer give to finish homework, I will always finish it one night before the homework should be handed in. Geez. I hate it. I am trying to change it but somehow it sticks on me and become a part of my life, like I have a motto : Being in a rush is a way of life. I really have to change it as soon as I am in Indonesia and start my college things. Gott!
Okay, now it might be a better story, compared to the last post I wrote. As I said, the last one was a first story I wrote on my first day. It shouldn't be lame, but it MUST be lame. And now I just finished writing the next story. And after some corrections from my good friend, Max (my big thank goes to you, Max!-at least that what I would write if I become an autor one day-) I am now ready to post it.
Here we go!
Das Thema : Kinderheit
Die Fragen :
1.Wie wurden Sie genannt als kleines Kind?
2. Welches Gefuehl haben sie heute zu diesem Namen?
Die Geschichte :
Mein Name ist Elizabeth Adisti Citra Maharani. Bitte sei nicht erschrocken weil er so lang ist. 4 Namen auf einmal. Meine Freunde nennen mich Disti, stammt von Adisti. Eigentlich ist Adisti ein seltener Name, sogar sehr selten, kann ich sagen. Er ist die Mischung aus dem Name meines Vaters, Adi, und dem meiner Mutter, Tuti. In der Mitte haben meine Eltern ein „s“ eingefügt, damit sich der Name schöner anhört.
Obwohl er besonders ist, mag ich ihn gar nicht. Meine Freunde sind Chinesen. Sie haben eine chinesische Abstammung, obwohl sie in Indonesien aufgewachsen sind. Darum gehören ihnen solch schöne Namen wie Stefanie, Yessica, Tasia und so weiter. Ich bin ganz neidisch auf sie. Ich bin keine Chinesin. Meine Eltern stammen aus Indonesien, genauer gesagt aus Java. Ich bin in Indonesien aufgewachsen und habe keine chinesische Abstammung. Darum habe ich keinen schönen Name. Übrigens ist mein Name zu lang, finde ich. Jedes Jahr, wenn eine neue Klasse anfängt und die Lehrer unseren Name rufen, um die Schüler kennenzulernen, werden sie bei meinem Name stocken. Danach fragen sie mit erstauntem Gesicht, das ich ärgerlich finde, "Was ist das für ein langer Name?". Bald werden mich meine Freunde auslachen und sich über meinen Namen lustig machen. Ich schäme sich für meinen Namen. Ab und zu denke ich, "Warum habe ich so einen langen Namen? Warum klingt mein Name komisch?" Aber ich kann doch meinen Name nicht ändern, egal wie sehr ich ihn hasse. Ich bin nur 10 jaehriges-Maedchen und sitze in der 5. Klasse. Ich habe gar keine Ahnung wie man seinen Name ändern kann. Alles was ich machen kann ist ihn zu akzeptieren, obwohl ich mir manchmal die Tränen verkneifen muss. Seitdem mag ich gar keine neue Klasse, weil wenn die neue Klasse angefangen hat, muss man sich immer neu vorstellen. Und wenn ich dran bin, kommt immer diese dumme Frage, die ich mehr als alles andere hasse, vor:
"Was ist das für ein langer Name?"
Ich gehe zu meinen Eltern und frage, warum sie mir solch komischer Name gegeben haben. Ich erklaere alles, dass die Lehrer immer gestockt haben, die Freunde sich ueber meinen Name lustig machen, ich mich auf meinen Namen schaeme und vergesse ich auch nicht, diese dumme Frage, die immer vorgekommen ist, ihnen zu erzaehlen.
Mein Papa, der sich gerade mit dem Plaetteeisen, um die Waeschen zu buegeln, beschaeftigt, gibt mir ein gerissenes Laecheln. Bald sagt er : "Meine Suesse, weiss du die Bedeutung deines Names?" Ich schuetelle den Kopf. Dann sagt er weiter "Elizabeth ist dein Taufname. Adisti ist die Mischung des Names von mir und deiner Mutter. Citra ist das Synonym des Bildes. Und am wichtigsten ist Maharani. Es stammt von 2 Woerter. Maha und Rani. Maha ibedeutet eigentlich am hoechsten und Rani selbe hat die Bedeutung der Koenigin. Also, ich und deine Mutter wollen dass du irgendwann wie eine Koenigin aufwachsen wirst. Nicht nur ein schoenes Gesicht, aber auch ein schoenes und gutes Herz werden dir gehoeren. Eine Koenigin soll bescheiden sein, nicht geizig, eingebildet, oder egoistisch sein. Eine Koenigin soll immer an ihre Leute denken, damit das Land gluecklich und friedlich sein wird. Die erwarten wir von dir wenn du schon erwachsend bist. Benehme dich wie eine Koenigin, die von ihren Leuten geliebt wird. Sei tapfer und gluecklich, damit die andere deinen Frieden fuehlen koennen."
Jetzt bin ich erstaunt. Wie bedeutend mein Name. Er sagt weiter "Die Eltern suchen nicht den Name ihres Kindes ohne gute Ueberlegung dafuer aus. Der Name bleibt bei den Kindern das ganze Leben und irgendwie passt dem Kind der Name immer. Also, schaeme dich nicht mehr, Schatzi."
Ich bin jetzt 21 Jahre alt. Bishers habe ich mich nicht mehr auf meinen Name beschweren, egal ob er manchmal ein bisschen komisch klingt. Jedes Mal muss ich mich vorstellen, sage ich immer mit dem Stolz "Halo,mein Name ist Adisti. Sie koennen mich zu kurz Disti nennen."
Yap, so it's my story. What's yours?
Ciao!
Adisti
Okay, now I just finished my homework for tomorrow.
Oh what I hate from myself nowadays (no, it's been a long time since it became my behaviour) is not my name anymore, but this "one night before deadline" behaviour. I couldn't help it. Seriously. I have a big problem dealing with it. No matter how many days the lecturer give to finish homework, I will always finish it one night before the homework should be handed in. Geez. I hate it. I am trying to change it but somehow it sticks on me and become a part of my life, like I have a motto : Being in a rush is a way of life. I really have to change it as soon as I am in Indonesia and start my college things. Gott!
Okay, now it might be a better story, compared to the last post I wrote. As I said, the last one was a first story I wrote on my first day. It shouldn't be lame, but it MUST be lame. And now I just finished writing the next story. And after some corrections from my good friend, Max (my big thank goes to you, Max!-at least that what I would write if I become an autor one day-) I am now ready to post it.
Here we go!
Das Thema : Kinderheit
Die Fragen :
1.Wie wurden Sie genannt als kleines Kind?
2. Welches Gefuehl haben sie heute zu diesem Namen?
Die Geschichte :
Mein Name ist Elizabeth Adisti Citra Maharani. Bitte sei nicht erschrocken weil er so lang ist. 4 Namen auf einmal. Meine Freunde nennen mich Disti, stammt von Adisti. Eigentlich ist Adisti ein seltener Name, sogar sehr selten, kann ich sagen. Er ist die Mischung aus dem Name meines Vaters, Adi, und dem meiner Mutter, Tuti. In der Mitte haben meine Eltern ein „s“ eingefügt, damit sich der Name schöner anhört.
Obwohl er besonders ist, mag ich ihn gar nicht. Meine Freunde sind Chinesen. Sie haben eine chinesische Abstammung, obwohl sie in Indonesien aufgewachsen sind. Darum gehören ihnen solch schöne Namen wie Stefanie, Yessica, Tasia und so weiter. Ich bin ganz neidisch auf sie. Ich bin keine Chinesin. Meine Eltern stammen aus Indonesien, genauer gesagt aus Java. Ich bin in Indonesien aufgewachsen und habe keine chinesische Abstammung. Darum habe ich keinen schönen Name. Übrigens ist mein Name zu lang, finde ich. Jedes Jahr, wenn eine neue Klasse anfängt und die Lehrer unseren Name rufen, um die Schüler kennenzulernen, werden sie bei meinem Name stocken. Danach fragen sie mit erstauntem Gesicht, das ich ärgerlich finde, "Was ist das für ein langer Name?". Bald werden mich meine Freunde auslachen und sich über meinen Namen lustig machen. Ich schäme sich für meinen Namen. Ab und zu denke ich, "Warum habe ich so einen langen Namen? Warum klingt mein Name komisch?" Aber ich kann doch meinen Name nicht ändern, egal wie sehr ich ihn hasse. Ich bin nur 10 jaehriges-Maedchen und sitze in der 5. Klasse. Ich habe gar keine Ahnung wie man seinen Name ändern kann. Alles was ich machen kann ist ihn zu akzeptieren, obwohl ich mir manchmal die Tränen verkneifen muss. Seitdem mag ich gar keine neue Klasse, weil wenn die neue Klasse angefangen hat, muss man sich immer neu vorstellen. Und wenn ich dran bin, kommt immer diese dumme Frage, die ich mehr als alles andere hasse, vor:
"Was ist das für ein langer Name?"
Ich gehe zu meinen Eltern und frage, warum sie mir solch komischer Name gegeben haben. Ich erklaere alles, dass die Lehrer immer gestockt haben, die Freunde sich ueber meinen Name lustig machen, ich mich auf meinen Namen schaeme und vergesse ich auch nicht, diese dumme Frage, die immer vorgekommen ist, ihnen zu erzaehlen.
Mein Papa, der sich gerade mit dem Plaetteeisen, um die Waeschen zu buegeln, beschaeftigt, gibt mir ein gerissenes Laecheln. Bald sagt er : "Meine Suesse, weiss du die Bedeutung deines Names?" Ich schuetelle den Kopf. Dann sagt er weiter "Elizabeth ist dein Taufname. Adisti ist die Mischung des Names von mir und deiner Mutter. Citra ist das Synonym des Bildes. Und am wichtigsten ist Maharani. Es stammt von 2 Woerter. Maha und Rani. Maha ibedeutet eigentlich am hoechsten und Rani selbe hat die Bedeutung der Koenigin. Also, ich und deine Mutter wollen dass du irgendwann wie eine Koenigin aufwachsen wirst. Nicht nur ein schoenes Gesicht, aber auch ein schoenes und gutes Herz werden dir gehoeren. Eine Koenigin soll bescheiden sein, nicht geizig, eingebildet, oder egoistisch sein. Eine Koenigin soll immer an ihre Leute denken, damit das Land gluecklich und friedlich sein wird. Die erwarten wir von dir wenn du schon erwachsend bist. Benehme dich wie eine Koenigin, die von ihren Leuten geliebt wird. Sei tapfer und gluecklich, damit die andere deinen Frieden fuehlen koennen."
Jetzt bin ich erstaunt. Wie bedeutend mein Name. Er sagt weiter "Die Eltern suchen nicht den Name ihres Kindes ohne gute Ueberlegung dafuer aus. Der Name bleibt bei den Kindern das ganze Leben und irgendwie passt dem Kind der Name immer. Also, schaeme dich nicht mehr, Schatzi."
Ich bin jetzt 21 Jahre alt. Bishers habe ich mich nicht mehr auf meinen Name beschweren, egal ob er manchmal ein bisschen komisch klingt. Jedes Mal muss ich mich vorstellen, sage ich immer mit dem Stolz "Halo,mein Name ist Adisti. Sie koennen mich zu kurz Disti nennen."
Yap, so it's my story. What's yours?
Ciao!
Adisti
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Autobiographie - 1st Week (A short story about my childhood : Brother and his friends)
Halo guys. Last week I just joined the new class of autobiographie writing. There we learnt about how to write our own autobiographie. It is such an interesting course, could I say. Since I am interested at writing and also telling the world about me (it's not the reason, kidding! I want to increase my German vocabs, that's all) so I decided to join it.
My teacher is a journalist. She looks really like a "real journalist" with her black shirts, skinny body, trousers and boots. Unforgetable is also her glasses (or she didn't wear glasses? I forgot it.) But she is really nice even her character is so .. -I dont know how to say it in English, but somehow you'll find out that she has a strong character-
So I will write down some stories about me that I wrote last week. And the next new post would be my new story that I just written in a few seconds ago.
Here we go!! (Sorry I won't translate it in English. Use google translate or kind of, if you want to understand it. It's German version :p )
Das Thema : Kindheit
Die Fragen :
1. Wo haben Sie gespielt - im Haus, im Freien, bei der Mutter?
2. Womit haben Sie am liebsten gespielt?
3. Mit wem haben Sie gespielt (Geschwister, Freunde, Erwachsene) ?
Die Geschichte :
Ich verbringe nicht so viel Zeit mit meiner Mutter. Sie arbeitet morgens und kommt wieder nach Hause nachmittags. Sie ist muede aber sie hat immer Zeit mit mir zu kuescheln, mich zu fragen was es bei mir in der Schule passiert.
Meine Eltern arbeiten jeden Tag morgens und kommen wieder nach Hause nachmittags. Ich bleibe mit meiner Oma von Papa. Sie ist eigentlich keine Mutter von Papa, sondern eine Tante. Sie bleibt bei uns, um mich und mein Bruder zu kuemmern.
Mein Bruder ist ganz schlimm. Er macht sich immer lustig ueber mich. Aber er ist der einzige Freund, den ich habe. Ich spiele gerne mit ihm und seinen Freunden, obwohl sie mich manchmal aergern. Sie spielen Basketball und ich darf nur angucken. Aber ich gucke doch gerne an und spoere sie an.
Ich habe auch einen Nachbarn, heisst Joshua. Er ist ganz nett zu mir. Er verteidigt mich immer wenn sein kleiner Bruder und mein Bruder sich ueber mich lustig machen.
Okay. It was a total lame story. Don't blame me, I have been for a long time no longer busy with writing novel or poetry or short story. So, it's a little bit about my childhood story. Wondering? See the next story of Adisti :) *sounds like I was a president of Indonesia so that people should wonder about my life*
Cheers,
Adisti.
My teacher is a journalist. She looks really like a "real journalist" with her black shirts, skinny body, trousers and boots. Unforgetable is also her glasses (or she didn't wear glasses? I forgot it.) But she is really nice even her character is so .. -I dont know how to say it in English, but somehow you'll find out that she has a strong character-
So I will write down some stories about me that I wrote last week. And the next new post would be my new story that I just written in a few seconds ago.
Here we go!! (Sorry I won't translate it in English. Use google translate or kind of, if you want to understand it. It's German version :p )
Das Thema : Kindheit
Die Fragen :
1. Wo haben Sie gespielt - im Haus, im Freien, bei der Mutter?
2. Womit haben Sie am liebsten gespielt?
3. Mit wem haben Sie gespielt (Geschwister, Freunde, Erwachsene) ?
Die Geschichte :
Ich verbringe nicht so viel Zeit mit meiner Mutter. Sie arbeitet morgens und kommt wieder nach Hause nachmittags. Sie ist muede aber sie hat immer Zeit mit mir zu kuescheln, mich zu fragen was es bei mir in der Schule passiert.
Meine Eltern arbeiten jeden Tag morgens und kommen wieder nach Hause nachmittags. Ich bleibe mit meiner Oma von Papa. Sie ist eigentlich keine Mutter von Papa, sondern eine Tante. Sie bleibt bei uns, um mich und mein Bruder zu kuemmern.
Mein Bruder ist ganz schlimm. Er macht sich immer lustig ueber mich. Aber er ist der einzige Freund, den ich habe. Ich spiele gerne mit ihm und seinen Freunden, obwohl sie mich manchmal aergern. Sie spielen Basketball und ich darf nur angucken. Aber ich gucke doch gerne an und spoere sie an.
Ich habe auch einen Nachbarn, heisst Joshua. Er ist ganz nett zu mir. Er verteidigt mich immer wenn sein kleiner Bruder und mein Bruder sich ueber mich lustig machen.
Okay. It was a total lame story. Don't blame me, I have been for a long time no longer busy with writing novel or poetry or short story. So, it's a little bit about my childhood story. Wondering? See the next story of Adisti :) *sounds like I was a president of Indonesia so that people should wonder about my life*
Cheers,
Adisti.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Hollow and Mellow
Hi,
are you all doing fine? I wish you do.
Now is 12.55 AM in Germany. I couldn't fall asleep. No wonder, as usual, the stupid me. I drunk a cup of caffee last night in order to stay awake because I actually wanted to finish a book that I borrowed from the library in Frankfurt almost one month ago. Yeah, tomorrow I gotta give it back. But somehow I just couldn't get my eyes off my laptop and here I am, end up in front of my laptop with these tired eyes. But I am happy, at least now I have time to blog. You will understand if you were me, you have actually lots to write but somehow you just didn't find the right time to write. Writing needs a right time and a right feeling. I just somehow never succeed to get along with both of these things. I have either time without right feeling or feeling without right time. Okay let's start my story.
As you can read above, this post today entitled "Hollow and Mellow". It describes the feeling I have now. This night I just suddenly feel homesick. Classic. It is usually normal when you are far away from your family and all you can do to cure your homesick is staring at the photos that you have. But it's actually not the point of what I really feel now. I personally don't know what kind of feeling I have now. It's like happy, sad, confused, depressed, I don't know, it's like somehow getting mixed. Happy because I only have 12 weekends left to see my family and friends in Indonesia ; sad because I only have 12 weekends more to spend time with my family and friends in Germany ; confused because I want to get my Bachelor title as soon as possible ; depressed because I really want to do my master in Germany but it's not as easy as people think. Yeah, actually the confussion and depression don't need to be considered seriously, they come just because I am such a damn thinker. I always think too much and too far.
But the two feelings : Happy and sad, they are true. I don't know which one is better, if I should say "Yuhu, I only have 12 weekends more before I fly back to Indonesian" or "Oh no, I only have 12 weekends more before I leave Germany" . Those are hard to choose. You know what, I love my homeland, Indonesia. There lives my family, my friends. Lots of memories happened there. There are things I hate about Indonesia, but honestly I miss to be there. I belong to there. But in the other side, I can't deny, I don't want to leave Germany. Here is everything perfect. I can be myself, I am different here. I am so confident to be the Indonesien among the Germanian. 9 months here is enough to give me lots of memories, to give me a few of good friends and to give me a perfect German family. Germany has taught me lots of things, it carved me to be the independent, discipline, on-time, hard-working, and unspoiled person. From the problems I got here, I learnt to solve them all by myself, to face the lonelyness without tears, to be a cheerful one in every day because I know if I am sad it would bring nothing. The life in Germany is far away from the word easy. You have to struggle to survive here. But somehow I love it.
I live here with a German family : Eva, Stephan and Lilly. I will tell you a little bit about them.
Eva is my Gastmutter. She is 37 years old. A beautiful and smooth woman, a very intelligent and patient one. If you meet her, I believe you will think the same way like me. She is an angel. The way she talks, the way she laughs, the way she jokes, you will always feel blessed to know her. I love her for sure. Since the first time I was here, I feel blessed I have her.
Stephan, he is my Gastvater. He is 38 years old. A handsome and also smart man. He's very humorous, but once he gets angry, he will roar like a lion. I hate when I have problem with him. But it's Stephan. Once he is angry, he is angry. But when the problem is over, it is over. He won't discuss it anymore or use it as a reason to be angry at someone. He is a very good father. He is over-protective to his daughter, but somehow he reminds me to my father. My father is also over protective, especially to me, because I am the only girl that he has. I understand the way he protects his daughter. I can also say that he is a gentleman. He won't let someone hurt a dog, even the dog doesn't belong to him. He will get into a fight for that dog. For him, if it is not right, then it is not right and he won't hesitate to oppose something that is not right, even it means he will get hurt. I love him even I hate his stubborn-ness. But if I didn't meet him, I would never learn to be unstubborn person. Yeah, I was a very bullheaded girl. But to face the bullheaded Stephan, I can't be a bullheaded Disti. That's why I will always love him no matter how many problems we had.
And now, I will tell you about my little sister, Lilly. She was 5 years old as I arrived in Germany and this year she turned 6. Her character is the mix of Stephan's and Eva's. She is a very stubborn person. She will not listen to you when you say "Don't climb that tree because if you fall down it hurts" until she falls down and she knows "it hurts" then she will say "You are right, it hurts" as she bursts into tears. She is a brave, sporty and active girl, but she can't hold her tears when she sees a worm that died in water, even she didn't kill that worm. She has a very good heart, a very sweet smile and frankly, she brings people a very good and positive atmosphere. I love her more than anything. For me, she is my sister, even sometimes she told me that I am not her family and that's why I may not kiss her deeply and too much. But I always kiss her so deep even at the end we will fight because she says "Disti, lass das (Disti, stop it)" and I will answer "Ich will nicht, Ich will dich immer kuessen (I don't want, I always want to kiss you)" and we will argue that I am not her family and I may not kiss her, but as we both are so stubborn, I will always say that I love her so much, that's why I always want to kiss her. And at the end she will always "Ja, ich habe dich auch lieb Disti, aber bitte kuess mich nicht mehr (Ja, I love you too Disti, but please don't kiss me anymore)" She is my best friend here. I never share my problem with her, but everytime I have homesick or some problems, I feel like she somehow understands me and she will come to me and give me one or two of her stickers and say "Where do you want it? You know what Disti, it gives you much of lucks. You will always be happy and protected. I will give it as a present for you." or sometimes she comes to my room and brings her drawing and says "Disti, yuhu. I have a surprise for you. You have to look for it. I have hidden it somewhere." and we look for it together but at the end she will always say "Look at here. Maybe it is here." and she just actually tells me where it is. It is only a simple drawing, with some sentences with wrong letter because she hasn't been good at writing, but it says : "Liebe Disti Hesjen Kuschel Muschel. Meine unterschrift Disti (Dear Disti, Kuschel Muschel The Bunny. My signature: Disti)" or only a heart with "Liebe Disti, deine Lilly (Dear Disti, your Lilly). I still remember the time we fought and suddenly she went into my room and hide something there, and at night as I wanted to sleep, I found a "rainbow" drawing under my pillow. I love her so much. And I know she loves me. Once she asked me "Disti, why are you no longer here in Sommer?" I told her that I have to finish my study in Indonesia and she told me "Why do you have to go back to Indonesia? You live there for your entire life. Why don't you stay here?" And she asked me too "Disti, would you get back?" "Where? to Germany?" "Ya." "I wish Lilly I will go back someday." At that time, I promise myself if one day I come back here, I will always visit my family here when I have time.
Yeah.. I can only tell you guys, I am blessed I have this family. Even we sometimes have problem, but I love them, no matter what happened. I always pray to God to keep my family in Indonesia and also in Germany. It is hard for me. In the next 3 months I will meet my own family. My own mother, my own father, my own sibling-my brother. But in the next 3 months I have to leave my family here, my German mother, my German father, my German sister.. Hard to choose.
But it is life. When you let people come into your life, you should always know that one day you have to let them come out of your life. But I never regret to have those people in my life, because from them, I learnt to love and be loved. I am blessed to have them in my life :)
xoxo
Disti
P.S Here are some drawings Lilly made for me by herself. I also put a handicraft I made with her in this Easter. :)
are you all doing fine? I wish you do.
Now is 12.55 AM in Germany. I couldn't fall asleep. No wonder, as usual, the stupid me. I drunk a cup of caffee last night in order to stay awake because I actually wanted to finish a book that I borrowed from the library in Frankfurt almost one month ago. Yeah, tomorrow I gotta give it back. But somehow I just couldn't get my eyes off my laptop and here I am, end up in front of my laptop with these tired eyes. But I am happy, at least now I have time to blog. You will understand if you were me, you have actually lots to write but somehow you just didn't find the right time to write. Writing needs a right time and a right feeling. I just somehow never succeed to get along with both of these things. I have either time without right feeling or feeling without right time. Okay let's start my story.
As you can read above, this post today entitled "Hollow and Mellow". It describes the feeling I have now. This night I just suddenly feel homesick. Classic. It is usually normal when you are far away from your family and all you can do to cure your homesick is staring at the photos that you have. But it's actually not the point of what I really feel now. I personally don't know what kind of feeling I have now. It's like happy, sad, confused, depressed, I don't know, it's like somehow getting mixed. Happy because I only have 12 weekends left to see my family and friends in Indonesia ; sad because I only have 12 weekends more to spend time with my family and friends in Germany ; confused because I want to get my Bachelor title as soon as possible ; depressed because I really want to do my master in Germany but it's not as easy as people think. Yeah, actually the confussion and depression don't need to be considered seriously, they come just because I am such a damn thinker. I always think too much and too far.
But the two feelings : Happy and sad, they are true. I don't know which one is better, if I should say "Yuhu, I only have 12 weekends more before I fly back to Indonesian" or "Oh no, I only have 12 weekends more before I leave Germany" . Those are hard to choose. You know what, I love my homeland, Indonesia. There lives my family, my friends. Lots of memories happened there. There are things I hate about Indonesia, but honestly I miss to be there. I belong to there. But in the other side, I can't deny, I don't want to leave Germany. Here is everything perfect. I can be myself, I am different here. I am so confident to be the Indonesien among the Germanian. 9 months here is enough to give me lots of memories, to give me a few of good friends and to give me a perfect German family. Germany has taught me lots of things, it carved me to be the independent, discipline, on-time, hard-working, and unspoiled person. From the problems I got here, I learnt to solve them all by myself, to face the lonelyness without tears, to be a cheerful one in every day because I know if I am sad it would bring nothing. The life in Germany is far away from the word easy. You have to struggle to survive here. But somehow I love it.
I live here with a German family : Eva, Stephan and Lilly. I will tell you a little bit about them.
Eva is my Gastmutter. She is 37 years old. A beautiful and smooth woman, a very intelligent and patient one. If you meet her, I believe you will think the same way like me. She is an angel. The way she talks, the way she laughs, the way she jokes, you will always feel blessed to know her. I love her for sure. Since the first time I was here, I feel blessed I have her.
Stephan, he is my Gastvater. He is 38 years old. A handsome and also smart man. He's very humorous, but once he gets angry, he will roar like a lion. I hate when I have problem with him. But it's Stephan. Once he is angry, he is angry. But when the problem is over, it is over. He won't discuss it anymore or use it as a reason to be angry at someone. He is a very good father. He is over-protective to his daughter, but somehow he reminds me to my father. My father is also over protective, especially to me, because I am the only girl that he has. I understand the way he protects his daughter. I can also say that he is a gentleman. He won't let someone hurt a dog, even the dog doesn't belong to him. He will get into a fight for that dog. For him, if it is not right, then it is not right and he won't hesitate to oppose something that is not right, even it means he will get hurt. I love him even I hate his stubborn-ness. But if I didn't meet him, I would never learn to be unstubborn person. Yeah, I was a very bullheaded girl. But to face the bullheaded Stephan, I can't be a bullheaded Disti. That's why I will always love him no matter how many problems we had.
And now, I will tell you about my little sister, Lilly. She was 5 years old as I arrived in Germany and this year she turned 6. Her character is the mix of Stephan's and Eva's. She is a very stubborn person. She will not listen to you when you say "Don't climb that tree because if you fall down it hurts" until she falls down and she knows "it hurts" then she will say "You are right, it hurts" as she bursts into tears. She is a brave, sporty and active girl, but she can't hold her tears when she sees a worm that died in water, even she didn't kill that worm. She has a very good heart, a very sweet smile and frankly, she brings people a very good and positive atmosphere. I love her more than anything. For me, she is my sister, even sometimes she told me that I am not her family and that's why I may not kiss her deeply and too much. But I always kiss her so deep even at the end we will fight because she says "Disti, lass das (Disti, stop it)" and I will answer "Ich will nicht, Ich will dich immer kuessen (I don't want, I always want to kiss you)" and we will argue that I am not her family and I may not kiss her, but as we both are so stubborn, I will always say that I love her so much, that's why I always want to kiss her. And at the end she will always "Ja, ich habe dich auch lieb Disti, aber bitte kuess mich nicht mehr (Ja, I love you too Disti, but please don't kiss me anymore)" She is my best friend here. I never share my problem with her, but everytime I have homesick or some problems, I feel like she somehow understands me and she will come to me and give me one or two of her stickers and say "Where do you want it? You know what Disti, it gives you much of lucks. You will always be happy and protected. I will give it as a present for you." or sometimes she comes to my room and brings her drawing and says "Disti, yuhu. I have a surprise for you. You have to look for it. I have hidden it somewhere." and we look for it together but at the end she will always say "Look at here. Maybe it is here." and she just actually tells me where it is. It is only a simple drawing, with some sentences with wrong letter because she hasn't been good at writing, but it says : "Liebe Disti Hesjen Kuschel Muschel. Meine unterschrift Disti (Dear Disti, Kuschel Muschel The Bunny. My signature: Disti)" or only a heart with "Liebe Disti, deine Lilly (Dear Disti, your Lilly). I still remember the time we fought and suddenly she went into my room and hide something there, and at night as I wanted to sleep, I found a "rainbow" drawing under my pillow. I love her so much. And I know she loves me. Once she asked me "Disti, why are you no longer here in Sommer?" I told her that I have to finish my study in Indonesia and she told me "Why do you have to go back to Indonesia? You live there for your entire life. Why don't you stay here?" And she asked me too "Disti, would you get back?" "Where? to Germany?" "Ya." "I wish Lilly I will go back someday." At that time, I promise myself if one day I come back here, I will always visit my family here when I have time.
Yeah.. I can only tell you guys, I am blessed I have this family. Even we sometimes have problem, but I love them, no matter what happened. I always pray to God to keep my family in Indonesia and also in Germany. It is hard for me. In the next 3 months I will meet my own family. My own mother, my own father, my own sibling-my brother. But in the next 3 months I have to leave my family here, my German mother, my German father, my German sister.. Hard to choose.
But it is life. When you let people come into your life, you should always know that one day you have to let them come out of your life. But I never regret to have those people in my life, because from them, I learnt to love and be loved. I am blessed to have them in my life :)
xoxo
Disti
P.S Here are some drawings Lilly made for me by herself. I also put a handicraft I made with her in this Easter. :)
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